21 Conclusion to a voice

Reading over my blog I can definitely hear a voice. It is pretty open, funny, and sometimes obnoxious voice. I have tried really hard to be sophisticated, but it is just not who I am. The patterns are very clear and that is that I am an open book. I will tell a complete stranger anything they want to know about my life even if they do not want to hear it. I feel like I am on a campaign right now called "Lets' get real." This is especially true with other moms who are in the same stage as life as me. I get tired of the same old fluffy talk and want to get to the nitty-gritty. I want to know what people really think and feel. I want to know their deepest sorrows and greatest joys! I have found 2 different kinds of people when it comes to handling my bold personality. They either can't stand me or want to share a true meaningful relationship with me. I use to think that speaking my mind about everything was really horrible and I still need to work on the appropriate timing and places, but I have had lots of people tell me it is refreshing because what you see is what you get!

20. Kids say the funniest things

I was reading my personal journal that I have kept since I was 13. I actually have 7 of them, but one of my favorite things to read is the funny things my kids have said. My Bria who is almost 7 still calls yogurt "ogret." One of my favorite moments happened one crazy morning. I was downstairs making bran muffins, Caleb had a question about his piano, and Bria was upstairs in the tub yelling at me to come wash her hair. I felt overwhelmed. While I was washing Bria's hair I took a deep sigh and said, "I wish there were 3 of me." She immediately smiled and said, "I would hug all 3 of you." I melted! Caleb is really charming and extremely intelligent. I knew we were in trouble when I caught him looking in the mirror saying, "hey gorgeous, how are you doing." He is a ladies man. My all time favorite ever is when Caleb was about 5 and he had just finished watching "Charlie and the Chocolate factory." He came running out of the bathroom screaming, "Mom my poo poo looks like an everlasting gobstopper."

19. Taking family pictures is an adventure

Here we are all smiling, looking so happy, like we never fight or complain. Little does anyone know what happens to get this picture taken at all. We had actually taken family pictures in the summer time on a beautiful warm day and after 1 hour and 500 pictures later we did not have a single family picture that was decent. So here we are in freezing cold weather, with short sleeves, and it was starting to rain or should I say sleet. My poor son had a fever and a cough, but he was a good sport and doesn't he look handsome. My 6 year old daughter Bria had been playing in the dirt, in her sweats with her hair in a hat 4 minutes before this picture was taken. Look at how beautiful she looks!! I had been cleaning all day and just threw on the first white shirt I saw. My husband looks handsome all the time and my little Greta lights up the picture with her smile.

18. I Found my Lost Marbles (personal narrative)

Taking care to tip toe past my mothers room while she was working on genealogy was always a good idea. If she heard me I would be trapped and have to listen to another long boring story about a dead person I am supposedly related too. I had things to do, living people to see, and it was important for my social life to go out with my friends. I could hear the printer printing out what I was sure was another pedigree chart that would sit on the stacks of papers she had everywhere. I had no idea how she even knew where anything was. My college money was being spent on ink cartridges and white paper.
I peaked in as I snuck by and saw the same scene. Her hair a mess and still in her pajamas sitting on a couple of pillows piled on an office chair. She was clicking away on her prized possession, the new computer my dad had begrudgingly bought her. Of course their was always the glass of diet coke half full on her desk. I had almost made it down the first two stairs when I hear, “Kat, come in and hear my good news!” It was to late and I was trapped. How long would my friends wait for me? I knew this would go faster if I acted interested and happy to hear all about it. One problem was remembering and keeping track of all the stories she had told me. If she sensed that I did not remember she might be tempted to repeat it all over again. When she saw me come in she had a glow of sheer joy and exclaimed, “I found my lost Marbles”. Oh no not the lost Marbles joke again. I could not even count how many family or neighborhood parties we had been to that my mom had told the story about her working on the Marble family line and joke about her “lost Marbles”. Then she would pierce our ears with her cackle of a laugh.
“Mom, that is great”, I said in as enthusiastic of a voice I could muster up. “Let me tell you how I found them” she went on. My eyes instantly glazed over and my body went limp. I heard something about a book falling off a shelf in front of her but got lost as I kept glancing at the clock. I really had to go! ‘Mom I am going out with my friends tonight and I am really late, maybe I could hear the rest later, see ya.”
Did I really just get a calling from the bishop asking me to plan a Trek for 85 people? Their is no question I love hanging out with the youth, and I am good at organizing things, but each person is suppose to represent a pioneer. How in the world am I going to know anything about pioneers? Then it happened very quickly; a feeling swelled up in my heart and I felt a great desire to learn more about my ancestors. I knew just who to call.
I was hesitant about going over to my moms to work on genealogy; not because I didn’t thirst for the stories, but because my mom had been very sick. Her mind was not the same as it use to be and she would get very confused. Her body was not being nice to her and it seemed she was in pain all the time. I also got very frustrated with her hearing problem and tired of repeating myself over and over again. I am sure she was sick of my hearing problem in the past and hopefully ready to repeat the stories she had told over and over again to a more willing ear.

 When we first sat down to start looking over the pedigree charts, I was really worried this was not going to go well. She looked very ill and could not even remember what she had eaten for breakfast. As soon as she opened her mouth to talk about her great great grandmother, the change was instant. Her countenance glowed like a light switch went on, her mind was going as quick as the computer that stored 40,000 pioneer names, and her body seemed like she had been resurrected. I sat there listening to story after story feasting on her words. My pen was scribbling down notes all over the charts to help feed the hunger I felt for knowledge about my ancestors. The dessert was when we had checked the names for temple ready and I was holding real peoples eternal destinies in my hands. Were they ready to be released from a spiritual prison? Even if they were not, I was ready to do there work and felt like I had been set free from my own blind confinement.
Rain drops were dripping down my bonnet, the mud was pasted to the bottom of my skirt, and I dreaded walking across the coming river. With these conditions my mind was still focused on the laminated story I had made into a necklace which was about my ancestor, Jena Bertelsen. It hung about my neck and flapped in the wind, but it kept me going. I could not believe she was only 10 years old, left her parents behind in Denmark, and had walked these plains all on her own. Had my spirit been there to help her push her handcart when she felt like she could not go on anymore? Was she pushing my handcarts of life when I felt discouraged or depressed? All I knew was that she felt more real and alive to me than all those silly friends I had in high school. Her life breathed air into my soul more than the fresh air of the Wyoming plains. I knew at this moment that no rubies, diamonds, or gold could replace the Marbles I had found.

17. humble humiliation

I absolutely love the gospel of Jesus Christ. However, in reflecting I have realized that my most embarrassing and humiliating situations have all happened in connection with the church. About 7 years ago during Christmas time when I was all dress up for church, the bishop was releasing me from a calling. He was calling for a vote of thanks and I heard my name and pop up out of my seat and looked around at people with a huge smile on my face. Steve was pulling on my dress for me to sit down but I ignored him and basked in the thanks on peoples faces. It was not until I sat down that I had realized that you do not stand up when they are releasing you from a calling but when you are called to the calling. I must have looked ridiculous in my velvet dress and might as well have been blowing kisses to everyone yelling,"Yes, I was wonderful wasn't I."

A couple of years later while attending the temple, I made a quick stop at the restroom and the two ties I have on my temple dress that tie in the back of the dress were accidentally dipped in the toilet. So what do you do at this point when everyone is waiting for you? You will have to use your imagination because I am not going to tell you what I did.

So why do I bring this up now? Because I was just called to be the primary chorister. Now I have no musical talent. I do not know how to play the piano and I do not know what those notes mean. If everyone is honest with each other I was called to be a clown for all the kids. Well humiliating myself is what I am good at. I used my talents very good today and added another Katism to my book as I stood up in front of the senior primary preparing to sing "I am like a star shining brightly". Well I told everyone to stand up and have "tinkle toes." The nine year old boys enjoyed that one, especially my son. So hopefully I will humbly make it to heaven!!

16. New Moon

I am writing in anticipation of seeing the movie "New Moon" tonight with a couple of friends. I feel like I am the only one who has not seen it. This was my least favorite book but I have heard the movie is a pleasant surprise. I really wish I would have read the book again recently to get a feel for it but I do not think I could finish in the next 4 hours. I am still putting away Thanksgiving decorations and putting up Christmas ones. My house is a mess. Maybe my husband will clean it while I am at the movies. He is truly amazing. Who needs Edward when I have Steve!!

15. Thankful Thanksgiving is over

I had a wonderful day today, but right now I am cuddled in my pajamas and ready to drop into bed from exhaustion. We double dipped our Thanksgiving today which means we ate with my family at 12:30 and Steve's family at 5:00. We hosted my family at our house this year and it was the first year my mom did not do the cooking. We divided our traditional meal up between my sister and I. My dad actually did the potatoes and I was so proud. I never realized how much work it takes to pull the whole thing together. I had to start on Wednesday afternoon. My favorite part is setting the table and making it look really special. My second favorite is my sister made my moms deviled egg recipe perfect, yummy!! My third is the generational pumpkin pie! The weather was very pleasant and I loved watching all the cousins play outside together on the tramp and make memories. All and all my goal was achieved of feeling peace and having all the food served on time and steaming hot. Mission accomplished and now I want to sleep for 24 hrs.

14. Why is costco so amazing?

I am so proud of myself for going to costco today and only spending $50. This might sound like a lot to some, but you should have seen everyone else's shopping carts. I have always loved going to costco and never understood why. It is a store where you have to pay a fee to shop there and then pay more to get 50 gallons of olive oil or a big box of candy I do not need. However we have found items there you cannot get anywhere else, like the Dubliner cheese from Ireland or the pomegranate seeds that are already separated that are excellent in a spinach salad with poppyseed dressing. Then you can't forget the huge hot dogs for $1.50, which my 6 year old can pound one down all by herself. All in all going to costco feels like your going on vacation and I did it for only $50 dollars.

13. My daughter is a polar bear and I am a lizard

Today it was 39 degrees outside. Yes it was sunny and that makes a little bit of a difference but it was still really cold to me. However my daughter Greta stood at the back window saying "back, back, back, back," (meaning backyard) over and over again. Finally I gave in and bundled up. The cold did not even phase her. Are babies born with different skin than adults. She would stick her hand in the icy snow and not even flinch. Her nose and hands were really cold but every time I tried to take her back in she would do the back arch temper tantrum. I love that she enjoys playing outside and maybe she will keep me from hibernating all winter long. After school my son took her outside to play so I could thaw out. When I peaked out back he had his shoes off and Greta had taken her coat off. How could this be? Oh to be young again and have no temperature gage.

12. A gift from Russia

My brother in law married an amazing girl named Katya from Russia about a year ago. I admire her so much for her boldness to leave her family behind and come to a strange country to be with her love. She speaks really good English and is very bright. Some people find it really hard to be around people who have a lot of talent in an area they might be lacking. I find it invigorating! I want to suck the knowledge right out of them. So I started with having Katya teach me how to knit. Of course she makes it look so easy and I watch her and my eyes get dizzy. Tonight I think I finally got it down. I started a scarf for my 6 year old Bria. She was very excited except when I was going so slow. My hands hurt but my heart feels light as I learn a new skill from a talented russian.

11. Ina May turns 92

Today we went to Payson to celebrate Steve's grandma (my kids great grandma) 92 birthday. What an amazing thing it was to see most of her family gathered around to honor her and her life. Her body definitely looked old and yet she looked so beautiful and radiant. I got a glimpse of what it must be like to be at the very end of your life. Once she was in the same stage I am rushing around, feeling like you are in the thick of things. Now she spends most her time all alone and the clock on the wall is probably very noisy. Truly relationships and family are all that matter. Her younger sister (who was in her late 80s) was sitting next to her and they were chatting like teenagers. I was imagining my little Bria and Greta doing the same thing and felt the importance of teaching my children to love one another. God bless Ina May and the great example she has set.

10. Katisms

Communicating in English can actually be a hard thing for me sometimes. Somewhere in my brain phrases get mixed up before they come out of my mouth. My husband affectionately calls these sayings "Katisms". The first one I recall spouting out is "I feel like I am running around like a chicken cut my head off". To me this phrase makes perfect sense but to the rest of the world it is nonsense. "You hit the nail right on the donkey" is another one that flew out of my mouth in an excited moment. We were writing our will and I remember asking my brother in law if he would be the "executor" as in the person who will kill the accused. Needless to say he looked at me a little weird. Normally I have no idea I have just said the silliest thing, but now I have come to recognize the consistent look I get when one of these phrases escapes my mouth. The persons eyebrows make a funny twitch and their head leans a little to one side. I can tell their thinking, "did i just hear that right." My husband is so use to it that when I asked him to pass the serenading knife he just starts singing and passes the serrated knife. Life can be fun with a little crazy brain!!

9. Home can be a Heaven on earth for 10 minutes!

Our home most of the time seems like and out of control mess. We do a pretty good job of reading our scriptures and saying our prayers everyday as a family at breakfast time. This does not always stop the fighting and bickering and jumping on furniture and spills and sassy mouths but I need to write about Monday night. We had Steve's parents over for Family Home Evening. This usually goes something like Bria sticking her feet in Calebs face during prayers and Caleb pinching Bria until they are full on wrestling and the spirit is long gone. Monday night we had a testimony meeting and the kids were so reverent and we could all feel the spirit as we listened to Gram and Grandpa Hill tell wonderful stories about their lives. Grandpa Hill talked about his ancestors and I could tell Caleb and Bria were very interested and even proud that they come from such a great heritage. Then we played Go Fish and laughed a ton as Steve (DAD) tried to pretend that he could read everyones mind and knew what cards they had. We really laughed hard when he kept guessing right and won the game. To top off this brief night of heaven we ended with chocolate molten lava cake. Every once in a while we manage to have a feeling of complete joy in our home. Amen!

8. It has been six months from today.

Today marks the six months since my mother passed away. The first few months after her passing I felt like the Holy Ghost was constantly comforting me. As time goes on and life takes over it is getting a little harder and I feel like the reality is setting in and the comfort is wearing off. It is strange how other people who have experienced loosing a loved one, especially there mother, warned me it would get harder. Yet when it happens I still feel unprepared for the wave of emotions that come.

My mom was an accredited geneologist and literally some of her closest friends were dead people. She had a gift. Their were years when I would mock her for this and now I would give anything to have this same gift so I could feel her presence. Why is it such a hard thing to see the legacy someone is leaving until they actually leave or die. I appreciate so much more all the wonderful things about my mom now. I feel very motivated to leave my own legacy and especially with my kids.

I am happy to say that one of the last conversations I had with my mother she mentioned how she thought I should go back to school. She was right and school has been an awesome adventure so far. I know she is watching over me and feel grateful for her life and example.
This is one of the last pictures taken of her with my baby, Greta.

7. Everyday a Holiday

My husband has been working on a new Iphone applications called "Everyday a Holiday." He grew up in a home where life was like a carnival everyday. His mom did tons of activities with the 7 kids to keep them busy. Steve, my husband, has taken 40 years of his moms ideas and compiled them onto an app. One of my favorite days is January 6, the first successful Morse Telegraph transmission that read, "What God hath wrought." The story behind Samuel Morse is amazing and you can read about it on Wikipedia. He was working on March 18 which is the Pillsbury Doughboys birthday and he read me the funniest thing ever. If you are feeling sad and in the mood to change your own pants from laughing so hard instead of one of your kids pants, read this.

http://aneducatedpalate.wordpress.com/2009/11/01/pillsbury-doughboy-dead-at-31/

6. Halloween!

Wow, what beautiful weather we had for Halloween! I feel like years are going by so fast and Halloween is one way to keep track of time. Bria,my six year old who looks like an eight year old, is helping her little sister Greta trick or treat. Ironically Bria wore the same flower costume when she was Greta's age. Then their is my nine year old son who pretends like he is sixteen who is not even in the picture because he needed to go trick or treat with his friends independently of his family. I think he did not want me to do my "Thriller" dance for his friends! This year the kids did come home early and were more excited about giving our candy out the getting more of their own. The worst part for me is when they go to school and I have all the Halloween candy haunting me.

5. Moving into the 21st century is painful!

Driving home from my English class on Thursday night I came to the very sad realization that my six year old knows more about the computer than I do. In class this night I pulled out most of my hair as I tried to keep up with the library research coach as she quickly jumped from screen to screen on the computer for her presentation. A little to late I understood that instead of taking English I should be taking a computer class. I spent the entire night bugging the girl next to me asking a million times, "what key did she just push" or "how did she get there?" This week will be very interesting as I not only learn how to do an annotated bibliography but also learn to use a computer. Heaven help me!!!

4. 25 years of friendship!

Their is nothing like having a friend who has known you since you were nine. Kari Sue Kamnikar Snow came to visit me on Sunday night with her 5 kids. I can't tell you how much joy it brings to see her and her family. Not only are our babies 1 month apart but the older kids get along really well also. This leaves more time for gabbing. One of the things I treasure most about having a friend who has known me for so long is she knew my mom really well. My mom passed away in May, and it was therapeutic to reminisce about stories and memories with Kari. She loved my mom and remembers her laugh and turkey dinners. We always go down memory lane and this usually involves trying on old cheerleading uniforms, which we can't even get our leg to fit into, and doing the dance from "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" movie. We have seriously seen that movie over 100 times. We have both made some fitness goals for ourselves and have planned a fun shopping trip in January. The only problem with her visiting is we never get any sleep but it is always worth it!!

3. Rhetorical Analysis Relief

The pressure has been relieved a little from worrying about my rhetorical analysis rough draft paper which was due last night. I felt very nervous as I passed my paper around to let everyone make their marks. Then I realized I was more nervous reading their papers and making marks because the students papers were really good. A different pressure has begun as we brainstorm about our research paper. Infertility is the topic. So for all you moms out there or want to be moms I am ready to find some answers.

2. Autumn Time

It is that time of year again and I do not mean Christmas. I mean crisp air, changing leaves, and harvest time. In my next life I would love to live on a farm. I understand their is hard work to be done but so much satisfaction in the law of the harvest. I have a tradition with my friend Callie of canning peaches every year. I look forward to it and love the deep conversations we have about life and trying to solve the world's problems while peeling peaches. Then their is the excitement of when not all the peaches will fit in a jar so you get to pop one in your mouth. Finally I beam with pride as I line the jars up on my counter. I believe this is one of the greatest feelings in life except of course eating the fresh peach pie I make with the left over peaches. YUMMY!!!

1. Why would this be called Yellow Fruit Snax

Every week for 7 years I have brought fruit snacks to church for my kids. We have tried a variety but we like the Walmart Smiles the best. It all started with me stealing all of the yellow fruit snacks from each pack as I passed them to my children. After awhile of doing this I decided to let the kids have a chance for the tangy lemon flavored fruit snack. What happened surprised me: as I would be staring at a speaker, a yellow fruit snack would be placed before my eyes by one of the kids. Generously they were sharing something they knew I loved. The children even got to the point where they would open the package and immediately take all the yellow ones out and pass them back to me. Fast Sunday was a little difficult because I would have a hand full of yummy yellow fruit snacks in my hand. This eventually began to happen with other treats. All the yellow Starburst,Skittles, and Airheads would be given to me. To top everything off this last year for Mothers Day I received a big jar with all yellow candy. So all in all with all the mistakes I make as a mother, hopefully, what my kids will remember about me is I love yellow fruit snacks.